It's difficult coping with change, most people know this and go out there way to stop it from happening. But.. What if you can't stop it? What if they're becoming more mature, more of themselves? There's always a doubt that I'd be pushed to the side, just becoming that one person that's there when noone else is, but means nothing. This is what I'm scared of. How can destiny or fate allow one person, who means so much to me, to simply push me to the side? But how also, do I cope with the factor of becoming less of an importance and not letting this ruin me?
It is difficult.
The constant feeling of not knowing what they're up to, where they are or even simply do they think about you plagues my mind. Nothing can fix this, no amount of work or time with my friends. Another side is that soon, I will be part of a massive change, moving away, starting university and just generally developing myself. But for the moment, my life is standard. What do I have that makes it fun, makes it special? How can I look forward to this change, or even feel like my days aren't all the same, old boring life, by all having the same pattern? How can I change this, when the person who brings me happiness, brings me hope and adventure, may not even think about me? These thoughts cripple me.
Is this just a temporary thing, until life stops being stressful but ordinary? Or is this something that will never ease, will the thoughts of being replaced change, will they stop once I've found my little bit of excitement, via university? Or will this be my last thought on the world?
No comments:
Post a Comment